


Footsteps Down the Stairs

by queen_egotist



Category: Free!
Genre: Angst, First Love, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Love, M/M, POV First Person, Romance, Temporarily Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-22
Updated: 2014-07-22
Packaged: 2018-02-09 23:04:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2001387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queen_egotist/pseuds/queen_egotist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Play that every morning. Then, I’ll join you downstairs.” I’ll do my best to stand up every morning for you. “Wait, uhm, you have to wake me up lovingly with your lips first before playing.” I grinned at him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Footsteps Down the Stairs

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [River Flows in You](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1961550) by [queen_egotist](https://archiveofourown.org/users/queen_egotist/pseuds/queen_egotist). 



> Based on my own fic from another fandom. My love for Free! is somewhat greater right now and I wanted some MakoRin angst. I haven't written in five years and I surely think I got rusty. Plus, I have no beta, so forgive the grammar.

_I don’t know how to tell him. I don’t want to let him go. Not yet. I still have my wish, my last wish from Rin._

 

* * *

 

We formally announced our relationship to the others right after high school when Rin was recruited for the National Team and was bound to Tokyo for the rest of his college years. I, being as supportive to everyone decided to move in Tokyo as well, since I got a good scholarship in a certain university with Haru.

I was fond of music and never knew my lyrics which consist of mostly scribbles and doodles were works of art as Amakata-sensei commented when she confiscated a scratch paper during her lecture and talked to me right after. I really thought she was pulling my leg, however, another teacher who specialized in composing back in the days said the same thing.

So I ended up in Tokyo with Haru. We shared a two-bedroom apartment together. Since we were in a different department, we rarely see each other during nighttime. We both have part-time jobs, so I think it’s normal.

During my off days,  I invite Rin, if he’s not busy, to come over since Haru usually goes home late at night.

Rin was an amazing cook. he taught me some healthy and delicious recipes. He is still a health buff after all. Well, who can blame him, he is in the National Team and will represent the country in a few months.

After finishing dinner, I washed the dishes and prepped for the night. I let Rin wander around for a while. Then, I heard a piano tune, a familiar one. _“Is it Rin?”_   I thought and hurriedly went to my room. There I saw Rin, moving his fingers skillfully onto the keyboard while looking to a music sheet: a piece that I composed a few days ago for an assignment.

He stopped, “Oh, sorry about that,” looking at me embarrassingly.

I sat beside him and gave him a light peck on the cheek, “Don’t stop yet. It was really good.”

Rin rolled his eyes, “Uh- I just saw it and I thought, it was interesting.” His ears were turning red, he really looked adorable and I unconsciously nuzzled his neck as a hugged him from the back.

He suddenly shoved me away, “Stop doing that, you idiot!” and tried to stand up, but I pulled his arm and he fell onto lap. I just continued nestling his neck for a few moments. I knew Rin gave up when his shoulders started to relax a little bit. He doesn’t wear any perfume, but he smells so good.

“You satisfied now, idiot?” asked Rin briefly.

“Hmm, no, not yet,” I replied while turning his face slightly towards me and nipped his lower lip for a tease.

Rin sighed and stood up. He positioned himself comfortably on my thighs and put his ripped arms around me, “I have practice tomorrow morning, so not now.” I knew he saw the disappointment on my face when he said that and pinched both of cheeks, “If you can wait ‘til next week, I’ll have my 3 days off and I’ll spend all of it with you.” He smirked, hinting something that made quite ecstatic about it.

“Fine, fine,” I answered shortly, “Whatever you want, Rinrin.”

Rin laughed and kissed my lips softly. “Don’t worry I’ll satisfy you day and night next week,” he whispered sinfully to my ears. I can’t wait for it and I’m already … uhm.. wait there is something that I’m missing.

“Ah!” I just remembered and it should be the first thing I have said.

Rin was surprised by my sudden reaction, “Wh- What the hell?”

Scratching the back of my neck and I know that I ruined the mood, “I should have asked you this when I entered the room.”

“Huh? What?” Rin asked with scrutinizing eyes.

I flashed my “angelic” smile, “Why didn’t tell me that you know how to play the piano?”

“Well, you never asked and I got a little rusty because I haven’t played in years,” he replied while standing up and walked towards my bed.

“You still sound great in my opinion,” I told him. I stood up as well to pick up the fallen music sheets on the floor.

Rin suddenly commented, “For some reason, I am seeing an aura that is shaped like flowers right now.”

“Errr – what?” I don’t know what he’s saying.

“Forget about it,” he countered and rolled, his back faced me, “I’ll be sleeping here tonight. But I’m warning you, don’t you dare.”

“I wouldn’t do anything that’ll make mad,” I thought and continued what I’m doing. After that, I took the futon from my cabinet and started to prepare for sleep.

“What are you doing?” Rin asked as he sat up.

“Preparing,” I responded bluntly, rolling the futon on the floor.

Rin scratched his nape, “Put that back. I wa-want to cu-cuddle,” he retorted while going back to bed and squeezing one of my pillows over his face. He is really adorable at times.

I did what he wanted and joined him. “Well, good night,” pecking the back of his as I put my arms around him. “I love you, Rin.”

“Lovrrr you chuuu,” he muffled on my pillow.

 

* * *

 

 

 

In just 3 years, Rin finally qualified for the Olympics. Everybody was so happy for him as he finally reached his dreams.  When he won at least a bronze for that event, my heart felt that everything is place. Everything seems to be perfect now. Rin’s happy and I am happy being with him.

Years have gone by, maybe a decade or so and we are still together. We bought a house abroad and got married where it is legal. The house is what I wanted, bright and simple where we can see a lot of greeneries and nature. Well, I still think that it’s a little too big for what I had in mind, but Rin wants a pool where he can train and I join him oftentimes. It’s quite far from the main city, but it is quiet and peaceful.

We also adopted a little boy and named him Toraichi, after Rin’s father. Coincidentally, he has Rin’s shark-like teeth and I told him, “Have you accidentally slept with another woman when I’m looking and got her pregnant?” He defensively replied, “I HAVEN’T, YOU IDIOT!”

 Unfortunately, he was taken from us by a grievous event where the bus driver taking Tora to school lost control of the breaks and slammed the bus onto the truck coming from the right intersection. Seeing our little boy’s burnt body left a pang in both our hearts. It took us a few months, maybe a year to move on from this.

 

* * *

 

Time has flown quickly in my opinion. It seemed like yesterday, I was just a high school student confessing my love for Rin before graduation. So many things happened, Rin and the Olympics, Nagisa’s internship for NASA, Rei’s inventions for non-swimmers, Haru’s seafood restaurants everywhere and my music.

I breathed deeply and looked at the music sheet in front of me. I played the notes and the tune that enveloped the air is full of melancholy. That’s what I felt for the past few months. That’s what I’ve noticed when I thought that everything would be in place again, that everything was still perfect.

I stopped playing when I heard footsteps on the stairs and hurriedly went to the dining area, “Good morning,” I smiled weakly towards him. He is clad in dark blue denim jeans and his usual black jacket, a backpack on his shoulders.

“Morning,” Rin looked at me flatly, no smile, no other reactions, “I need to talk to you abou-”

“What do you want for breakfast? You’ll go training afterwards, right?” I interceded, knowing the full content of his words as it felt like a knife cutting right through my very veins.

He sighed and walked towards the front door, “I won’t be having breakfast, and I’ll see you tonight.”

I watched him walked out of the house and went after him. I caught a bit of his jacket and put my forehead on his shoulders, “I love you, Rin. I still do.”

The usual words that I hear from him whenever I say it were “I love you too,” “What the hell? Idiot…well me too,” “Huh? You know I feel the same Makoto.” Now, I only hear the harsh sounds of silence as he shrugged off and walked straight to the car. I watched him drive away and decided to come back inside to continue my composition.

As I sat down by the bench, my head felt a splitting agony. My breathing was harder than usual. My sight suddenly went hazy with colors unknown to what I usually see. “Not now, please” I inhaled slowly, “I haven’t…” I spat out a bit of blood on my hands.

After a few minutes, my sight cleared and my breathing came back to normal. I looked for a pain reliever for my head, even though it will only cover for a few hours. I don’t fuckin’ need treatment.

A few hours went by and I finally finished what I’m doing. I looked at the clock and decided to prepare a dinner for two, even though I never expected Rin to come home early. I heard our phone rang and answered it, putting the phone on speakers.

“Makoto,” a familiar voice talked.

I am quite surprised that he’s the one to call first, “Haru?”

“How are you? Have you seen a Hematologist yet?”

I stopped chopping the veggies for a while, “No.”

Annoyance and worry is evident in Haru’s voice, “You’re going to die at that rate. Don’t tell me you haven’t told Rin yet.”

“I wanted to tell him this morning, but he went straight to his training.”

“Please Makoto, at least tell him. I’m really worried about you. I’ll be flying in a few days to go there and kick Rin’s ass.”

I laughed at Haru’s comment. “No need, you’re half way around the world. But, maybe a few days will suffice,” I told him. _A few days, huh?_

“All right. I’m quite busy at the moment, it is dinnertime. I’ll try to call again tomorrow.”

“Bye, Haru,” I replied and went back to chopping.

 

 

The table was properly set for two. However, it was quite rare for Rin to come home and have dinner with me since last year. I sat at the table and started eating by myself when I heard Rin’s voice from the hallway, “Makoto?”

I stood up immediately to welcome him home, and then I felt a slight numbness in my forearm. I looked at it and there, I never noticed that I had patches of all over my arm. I rolled off my sleeves to cover the patches and went straight to see Rin. “Welcome home,” I smiled at him.

“Do we have dinner or something, I’m hungry,” he answered back with a smile.

I felt my cheeks burn over that little smile, even though I know that was all pretense. “Dinner’s ready.”

We talked and talked about different things throughout dinner. It felt nostalgic. It felt somewhat happy.

He washed the dishes this time as I went upstairs to our room. I sat on the side of the bed and thought of what Haru said in the afternoon.

_How can I tell him? I can’t just spat out, “Don’t leave me. I’m dying!”_

“Makoto,” I heard Rin and looked at him leaning by the door. I noticed that his body changed with slightly tanned skin and muscular figure that I always adore. His arms crossed, “We need to - ”

I shook my head, “Rin if you are leaving me for some reason. Go ahead. I wouldn’t mind at all.” _What on earth am I saying? Of course I don’t him want to leave. I love him. I love him. I will always want to be with him._

“I guess that was easy,” he walked towards the bed and knelt before me, “I’m really sorry. I don’t know the right reason, but everything faded ‘til it’s gone.”

“I’ll let you leave, but indulge me first,” _I won’t let you go, not now_.

I ticked him off, I see anger in his eyes no matter how much he controls it, “What?”

“Stay with me for fifteen, no, ten more days,” I replied, showing a playful smile.

Rin stood up and sat beside me on the bed. “I feel like you’re playing with me. It sounds like you’re dying. Well, you looked really pale these past few days,” he said jokingly.

At least you noticed. “You’re on the right track, Rin. I am dying and it’ll be less a month ‘til I go,” I answered him, trying my best to fake my grin as I hold the tears welling up in my eyes.

Rin’s eyes grew wider, his expression turned dark. The entire room filled with blank noise until he uttered and laughed bitterly, “What a bad joke, Makoto. Stop kidding me.” I knew he noticed it, but he never confirmed or maybe he doesn’t care at all.

“I’m not,” I covered my mouth as I felt a rusty taste of blood. Rin pulled my other hand and clasp our hand together, kissing my fingertips tenderly.

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” he asked, anger overtaken by guilt.

Tears started flowing from my eyes, “Because I don’t want you go. Or at least stay with me until the end. I can endure any pain from my illness, I’ll endure every headache and bleeding. But I can’t endure seeing you go now.”

Rin wiped my tears, his hands rested to cup my cheek, “Therapy? Someone can still look, right?”

“No, no more. I’ll be spending my entire time in the hospital and I’d rather stay here. Stay here with you, so please,” I desperately plead.

“Even without me, I want you to be happy. I really do, Makoto. Our friends are still there, even though we’re all busy.” He uttered while closing the gap between us. Our foreheads stuck together.

I hate these tears, why am I still crying? “I grew up and spent half of my life watching and supporting you guys on whatever you had in mind. I matured with you. I vowed to be with you the entire time. If you’re going to leave me, at least, grant me this selfish desire.”

He embraced me out of remorse, “What do you want, Makoto?”

I looked back at him and smiled faintly, “Remember that tune that you played back then in my room. The one where I found out that you know how to play the piano,” Rin nodded. “Play that every morning. Then, I’ll join you downstairs.” _I’ll do my best to stand up every morning for you_. “Wait, uhm, you have to wake me up lovingly with your lips first before playing.” I grinned at him.

“You always did whatever I wanted,” he caressed my rough and dry lips with his thumb before kissing me.

 

 

Following that day, our routine will start a little bit early as Rin affectionately nibbled my lips until I open my eyes. Once I’m awake, he’ll make his way to the piano to play that tune continuously until I sat beside him and play along.

Few days passed by, he will kiss and caress my skin ‘til I sat up. There was a day when we just continued kissing, until he stopped because he can already taste some blood. “Sorry, I got overboard,” I stayed in silence, looked at him and smiled back. He touched my arm, skin full of bruises, “Does it hurt?” he asked. I just nodded, I wanted to tell him not to worry, but my voice betrayed me. He went downstairs and played my song. I tried to move, I can’t feel anything, my legs or my hands. Damn, I need to stand, move just a little.

Five or so minutes, I felt them again, I stood warily to avoid being dizzy and walked downstairs. Rin is still playing, he is still waiting. I finally made it to the bench, catching my breath. I laid my head on Rin’s shoulder as he stopped playing.

 

The day before the deal, he woke me up passionately and tasted him sweetly, my hands on his hair as he trailed kisses from my cheek down to my neck. It soothes any torment made by bleeding. I can’t see him properly as my sight is only a whirlpool of colors. But I can feel him, at least I don’t feel any numbness this time. “Good morning, Makoto,” he said while caressing my cheek. I tried to sit up, but every muscle in my body failed me. He noticed my struggle and pecked my forehead, “Just listen.” Then, I heard footsteps going downstairs. Seconds passed, that lovely song was playing again.

 

On my last day of request, I woke up earlier than usual as Rin tossed around on our bed. I felt his arms over my chest, his nose on my neck. “I don’t want to play today,” he whispered. I felt anger, I wanted to push him away and shout, “You promised, Rin!” Sadly, I still can’t find my voice.

_This is it, huh? At least you can be free by tomorrow._

“I want to stay in bed with you, Makoto,” he continued. I looked back at him and he displayed his shark-like teeth in a form of a grin. I can see him clearly this time, no flashes of light or abnormally shaped figures. I can see him clearly as he looked back and kissed me like when we were still in love.

When we were in love…

“R-R-Ri-Rin,” I toiled to call his name. _“I love you, Rin. Please…”_ my body slowly felt heavy. I want to hold his hands, but no nerve seemed to obey.

“I’m sorry, but I,” he paused. Damn it, can my tears stop flowing? “I love you, Makoto.” He held my hands and squeezed it tightly as I felt a little from it.

I opened my mouth, no words, no fuckin’ sound. “Love … Rin,” I labouredly told him.

Play that song again, please, Rin. I want to hear you playing for the last time.

I felt his lips lightly on mine. I felt warm tears, but this time I know it’s not mine. “I love you, Makoto. I love you, Makoto. I love you, Makoto. I love you, Makoto,” he repeatedly said.

As I close my eyes, a tinge of smile on my face, I heard footsteps once again as it descended the stairs. Then, the melody played again by the man I love the most and that made me contended. I am still happy in the end. My slumber is coming close.

Rin still loves me.


End file.
